I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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