I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
