I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
