I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
