It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
