17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
