if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
