I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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