I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
