how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
