so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
