are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize