This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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