I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
