gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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