It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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