He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
