Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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