Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
