Welp...herpes.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
