why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
