Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There r osticjed everywhere
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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