Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
