Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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