It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
