No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
