our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
