i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
