butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
