Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
