if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
