How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
