i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
