I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
