i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
