THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
