I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
