If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
