Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
