hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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