America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
