I need help removing her.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
A+ Viking dick
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
