so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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