this beer tastes like vomit already
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
