She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
