the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
