Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
