My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
