i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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