Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
