probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Less talking, more tequila
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
